You Gotta Dance With The Girl That You Brought To The Party

At around the two hour mark of the Big Ballers League auction a name popped up who’s very utterance makes my lips curl and my blood boil.

Scott Kazmir for $3″

A flood of memories come back. Mets fan wretch when they think back to July 30, 2004. It’s a Pavlovian reaction to the acute form of PTSD that we suffer from after years of abuse at the hands of a terrible baseball organization. With his team flailing in the summer heat and it’s record dropping below .500, then GM Jim Duquette made the worst deal in Flushing since Tommy Huang bought the RKO Keith in 1986. I won’t go into details because they’re too painful to recollect but I’m pretty confident that with Kazmir, The Mets could have won just one more game in ’06 or ’07 or ’08. The kid who once threw four consecutive no-hitters in high school, has had a pretty successful (if injury interrupted) career so far, turned 26 this season. Victor Zambrano and Bartolome Fortunato are no longer pitching in the majors.

I liked Kazmir as a back end starter going into my drafts this preseason. I knew he would come cheap, since he’s lost a lot of luster over the years due to the wear and tear of snapping off those sliders. His once coveted left arm is always a pitch away from the DL it seems. That was the knock on him back when he was coming up with The Mets. That he was too small, an injury risk because he threw hard and he snapped off wicked sliders. The Rays were more than happy to take that risk, and they went to the World Series not long after. Smart teams do things like that. When TB found themselves flush with young pitchers last season, they shipped Kazmir and his salary over to Anaheim.

In a bid that was half wishful thinking and half price enforcing, I went $4 on Kazmir. Crickets. Sold.

Checking out the Rotowire feed after the auction, I read that he was put on the DL with a strained quad. Had I known that, I probably wouldn’t have taken him, but $4 ain’t much and Scott Kazmir should do better out in the AL West. He also complained about the move, saying he was ready to go last week. On the other hand, he doesn’t have The Rays defense behind him anymore and his flyball rates have ascended the past two seasons.

Kaz makes his season debut tonight against Phil Hughes and The Bombers at The Stadium. I really don’t know what to expect. He has pitched well in his career against The Yanks, but not so much in The Bronx. This will be his first appearance in The New Stadium (Rudy and Bloomie say: bread and circuses motherfuckers, what!?) so maybe Aura and Mystic won’t get to him until he heads to Sin City after the game.

A lot of fantasy owners will be benching Kazmir tonight. I probably should be too but I’m going to play him. Shit. In an alternate universe, he’s still a Met and this is a real Subway Series, like in October, not June. My head got me 2 starts from Padilla last week, so I’ll go with my heart. What the hell do I know?

You gotta dance with the girl that you brought to the party. Man up Kaz!

*****UPDATED 10:16pm*****

I guess I should have left this girl in the cab. Kazmir done in by the long ball, chased after giving up 6 runs in 4 innings. A small consolation is that I have Robbie Cano on The Hangovers. He jacked off twice tonight. Yankees lead 6 – 2, bottom of the 8th.


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