Next In Line…

April 21, 2010

A few quick notes about some high profile prospects, who are not “The Last In line,” like Ronnie James Dio:

  • Giants prime-time pitching prospect, Madison Bumgarner has seemed to regained the form that earned him a ton of hype over the past couple of seasons. In his last start, Bumgarner’s velocity had improved greatly, reaching into the low-90’s, rather than topping out in the 80’s, as he had been doing in his previous starts this season. Giant’s GM, Brian Sabean claims that Bumgarner’s struggles had a lot to do with his spending the off-season preparing for his wedding, rather than preparing for the 2010 season where he was expected to be S.F.’s 5th starter. Todd Wellemeyer has been awful so far in the starting role so Bumgarner getting back on track is fantastic news for the Giants and fantasy owners in 16 team keeper leagues that might own Bumgarner.
  • 2008 saw Armando Galarraga emerge as a fantastic sleeper for fantasy owners, as he posted 13 Wins and a 3.73 ERA over 178 1/3 IP. With a FIP of 4.88 in ’08 however, it was plain to see that Galarraga would take a step backwards in ’09. After a predictably forgettable campaign last year, the 28 year old righty began this season in AAA, where he has been pounding the K zone at eye-popping rates (18/1 K/BB with a 1.96 ERA in 3 starts). If he keeps this up, you can bet that The Tigers will find a place for him if one of their starters falters.
  • Cleveland’s stud catching prospect Carlos Santana, collapsed in agony after fouling a ball off of his leg in a AAA game this afternoon. Scary stuff for the promising young backstop, who should be getting the call up to Cleveland some time in late May to early June. Also scary for fantasy owners like me, who have already hitched a lot of hope on the kid. Santana is currently mashing Independent League pitching to the tune of .727 SLG. Early reports say that Santana is not seriously hurt. With Lou Marson and Mike Redmond hitting a combined .125 with 1 XBH so far, Santana has a clear path to an everyday catching job when he arrives in the bigs.
  • Chris Davis is still swinging at everything and what he is hitting is not leaving the yard. In 40 PA’s this season, the Texas 1B has actually swung at slightly more pitches outside the zone, than he did last season (34.4% O-Swing % currently, 34.1% in ’09). While it’s a small sample size, it’s a bit alarming, especially when you consider that the young slugger has yet to hit a HR. As Justin Smoak keeps progressing, it looks more and more likely that he will be replacing Davis at first sooner, rather than later. On Saturday, ESPN’s Buster Olney wrote:

“Chris Davis is off to a terrible start that is a lot like his start in 2009… Meanwhile, Smoak is off to a strong start in Class AAA, hitting .300; he drew a walk on Friday night in Oklahoma City’s victory over Memphis, his 10th this season, in nine games; he’s got just three strikeouts, and four extra-base hits.


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Vic, They’re Stealing!

April 21, 2010

Remember back in the day when you’d be walking down 34th Street and all of a sudden like 20 kids would rush out of Macy’s with armloads of stolen goose downs and knit sweaters and jeans and what not? That’s how shit went down back when I was growing up in The City. If shit wasn’t nailed down, somebody would steal it. You’d be driving up the Harlem River Drive and all of a sudden it would be pitch black, not a lit street lamp in sight, because crack heads have stripped the wires and sell the copper for scrap. Back in the 80’s and 90’s base runners stole a lot more too. Guys like Ricky and Vince would rack up bags like a posse of hoods hitting the Coach store. As the 90’s wore on, guys started juicing up and jacking off like never before, leading managers to give their burners the stop sign, since they figured someone would probably go yard behind them.

Flash forward to today, the post-P.E.D. era (lets play pretend here) and you’ll find that runners are stealing again. In fact The Texas Rangers ran like crazy last night, racking up a team record 9 stolen bases, against the Bean-town battery of ageless knuckler Tim Wakefield and spaghetti armed Victor Martinez. Elvis Andrus and Nelson Cruz lead the way with 3 steals a piece in the wild affair that The Sawx would ultimately go on to win 7-6, on a walk off hit by newly called up OF Darnell McDonald.

For fantasy purposes, it’s helpful to know that base runners have been swiping bags from Boston batteries like Thirstin Howl III swipes Polo gear, and not just the soft-tossing Wakefield. In fact Boston catchers have throw out only 1 would-be base stealer in 32 chances. Something to remember when you see that your guys are playing Boston.

Also of note: Boomstick left the game in the 9th with a cramped hammy. He woke up today feeling better and says he will play tonight.

For a look at the easiest (and toughest) teams to run on, check out the Fangraphs advanced team fielding chart. rSB means runs saved while defending against the Stolen Base. You’ll notice that Boston tops the list of teams that are easiest to steal against so far this season.

Enjoy Mr. Howl’s ode to thievery, “John, They’re Stealing”:

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The Lineup Card: Baseball Reads From Around The Triple Dubs

April 20, 2010

Interesting reading from around the baseball world:

  • When New York Magazine isn’t sipping Champagne with Astors and giving the mayor hand-jobs for gentrifying NYC, it’s now talking about… defensive metrics?
  • Derek Carty at THT sums up the “Intuitions vs. Quants,” debate, ongoing at the Cardrunners League site. Fascinating discussion between fantasy baseball experts and poker pros, going at it mano y mano in a high stakes fantasy league.
  • Roto Rob says that help is on the way for the Houston Space Monkeys. A peek at some young guys who are primed for take off.
  • Eriq Gardner has something to say about the folly of “Buy low/sell high” advice.
  • The incomparable Grey Albright at Razzball brings the heat on the regular. Today he made a Willie McGee ugly joke that had me spitting up my morning coffee.
  • The Wall Street journal is an interesting place to find a good piece on Jerry Manuel’s rather strange usage of Frankie Rodriguez, during Saturday’s 20 inning marathon in St. Louis.

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Hitting The Cut-Off Man: Fist Of Fury

April 20, 2010

A few interesting players to consider as we scour the deep league waiver wires…

  • Until Angel Pagan‘s HR in the 7th inning of last night’s 6-1 win over The Cubs, The Mets had gone 117 plate appearances without an extra base-hit. I’m feeling pretty good about the combustible Zambrano going to the mound tomorrow. The Mets have been swinging at everything, particularly with runners in scoring position. If Pagan gets regular playing time in favor of Gary Matthews Jr., he could be worth a flier for those in need of speed in 12 team or bigger mixed-leagues. I actually drafted Pagan in the reserve draft of The Big Ballers League, but dropped him when Manuel started the season playing Sarge Jr. in center. If he keeps playing, he’ll be on someone’s roster again soon.
  • The star pitcher of my all-porno name team, Doug Fister, put together another tremendous start tonight. With 6 no-hit innings tonight against clueless Baltimore bats, Fister strung together a total of 10 straight innings without a hit, dating back to his last start against Oaktown 357. There’s a lot to like about the big sinker-baller, as Fister has pounded the strike zone to the tune of 9K’s and only 3BB, over his first 18 innings this season. While the White Sox bats have been chilly so far this season, they should provide a tougher challenge than his previous two opponents. We’ll see if the Fist of Fury continues to beat down the competition.
  • Will the real Brandon Morrow please stand up? Was tonight’s 7 inning (5 1/3 without a hit), 1 run, 8 K, 2 BB, 3 hit performance, against The Royal Tenenbaums a taste of things to come, or will he go back to walking the world (5.84% career BB rate) in his next start? There has never been a question of Morrow’s ability, rather it’s been health and questions over his role that have been at issue. With his starting job clearly defined, it will be interesting to see if Morrow can develop into the quality starter that scouts projected. I’m not overly optimistic. We’ve seen flashes of brilliance before from Morrow, only now he’ll start facing much stiffer competition in the AL East, in front of a defense that is hardly has proficient as the one he left behind in Seattle.
  • With The D-Backs placing Conor Jackson on the 15-day DL with a strained hammy. Gerardo Parra should be seeing more time in the Arizona OF. Bill James gave a preseason projection of 70/8/64/13/.297/.351/.428 for Parra, which is a nice improvement over his 2009 numbers. Obviously those numbers are contingent on about a full season of playing time. He won’t get that if Jackson’s healthy, but he’s playing now and he could be a valuable run scorer in a strong D-Back lineup. Parra won’t wow anyone in any particular category, but deep league owners might be able to find some use for the soon to be 24 year old outfielder. At his best, I think he could be Franklin Gutierrez-lite with the bat.

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Ike Davis and Appreciating OBP *UPDATED*

April 19, 2010

I never thought I’d put “Mike Francesa” and “interesting” together in the same sentence but a Mad Dogless Mike had former Mets GM and all-around nincompoop Steve Phillips on his WFAN radio show this afternoon, to talk about Mets rookie 1B Ike Davis. Davis got the call this afternoon and he’ll be debuting at first and hitting 6th for The Mets tonight against The Cubs. What peaked my interest in the exchange was the talk of how On Base Percentage is more greatly appreciated than ever before (“due to Billy Beane and the whole Money Ball phenomena,” said an audibly bitter Phillips) and how the ability to tell a ball from a strike, is “the 6th tool,” to use when evaluating a players skills.

Appreciating the batter’s eye is ancient history to anyone who cares about baseball, let alone has a fantasy team. I don’t really like to play in a league without OBP, since I understand how Batting Average only really tells a small part of the hitter’s story. It feels foolish and inauthentic to simply use AVG, when there are plenty of useful players who may not be hitting, but are still getting on base. Isn’t the object of the game – to not get out? What Francesa and Phillips (and most of the baseball media) fail to acknowledge is that “Moneyball” has nothing to do with OBP in particular. Billy Beane was simply looking to take advantage of market inefficiencies when constructing a team on a limited budget. Now that smart front offices (most with far deeper pockets) have caught on to OBP, “Moneyball” is moving on to the next undervalued facet of the game, defense. I don’t expect these guys to grasp that kind of higher thinking but I thought today’s conversation was a nice start.

One guy who’s playing “Moneyball” right now is Yankees DH Nick Johnson. Johnson is hitting an anorexic .158 on a 6 for 54 drought. His OBP however, is currently .402. Not all together unexpected in such a small sample size, especially when you consider Johnson’s switch back to the AL. If you’d like to see why Johnson is hitting at such a poor clip, you need not look any further than his .217 BABIP. But lets not get crazy now. The old guys just got that OBP was imporant. We don’t want to throw too many numbers at them. Well Francesa brought up Johnson, in regard to the changing perceptions in baseball towards OBP. In spite of the anemic AVG, the New York media is not getting on Johnson, Francesa said, due in large part to the newly found appreciation of OBP. Speak for yourself, but ok, that’s cool. Johnson isn’t in fact terrible because his AVG currently is. Of course, Francesa immediately undid any good will he may have garnered from me, by comparing Davis to Jason Heyward, since both display a good eye (Davis BB 11.2% of the time in 233 AA PA last season) and Heyward’s probably the only rookie he can name. Welcome to New York, no pressure kid.

I think Davis projects fairly similarly to Johnson. Perhaps he doesn’t have as great a command of the plate as Johnson, but he projects a little more pop. I’m not sure about his glove, but Davis did look like The Mets best 1B back in Spring Training. That’s not saying a great deal, but it might be enough for Jerry Manual to keep his job for a couple of weeks, if Davis provides a spark. Davis is worth a flyer in deep leagues and could make an impact in 12 team leagues, particularly if you use OBP.

*Note: I think the comparison that Keith Hernandez made during last night’s game was perhaps more accurate. John Olerud’s rookie season, compare somewhat favorably to Davis’ minor league numbers. It’s tough judge Davis on his past as he suffered from a strained oblique muscle last season, which he blames for sapping his power.

Mike Axisa, over at Fangraphs disagrees, point to Adam LaRoche as a better comparison. What do you think?

Davis went 2-4 with an RBI in his first game. Nice first game!

Good luck Ike. You’re going to need it.

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Week 2 Review: Floyd And The Damage Done

April 19, 2010

I woke up Sunday morning, trailing 4-7 in my H2H league, with a few categories still up for grabs. Poor starts earlier in the week by Big Z and Gavin Floyd set me back, but I still felt good about my prospects of still pulling out a win against The Men On A Mission. I trailed by a Win and a Quality Start and a little bit of WHIP, with Hamels going against The Fish, Wainwright up against The Mets and Floyd facing the The Indians. Three starts, three wins, three quality starts in the bag, right? Well thinking like that is why I don’t bet anymore. Well ok, maybe one more bet…

The Phils bats went quiet in support of Hamels. Got the QS there, but no W. Encouraging nonetheless, as Hamels made his best start of the young season. Floyd on the other hand threw up an epic stinker, against a decidedly bad Indians team. Floyd allowed seven runs before being chased in the 2nd without even getting an out. Forget about WHIP. Not quite what I planned when I drafted him in the 9th round. As Stephen Colbert would say, “Floyd, you and Z are on notice!”

That left me with Wainwright, the same guy that I watched crush my dreams in ’06 with that mighty curve that sent The Mets packing and The Cards off to win a World Series. Yeah it’s an ugly route to go but playing with your heart will get you last place. Anyway, by the second inning I was cursing my TV as Wainwright was coughing up a crooked number and it seemed my team would go down without a fight. Alas, Wainwright held the line, kept The woeful Mets bats at three runs and managed to go the entire game for the victory! A bit of redemption for Ryan Ludwick, with the game-winning home run that almost erased the memory of his prior day’s idiocy. Nice way to end the week. A little disappointing the way I started off the week on fire, but we got the W and that’s what counts.

Notable players for week 2:

The Captain, Derek Jeter continues to defy naysayers with his stellar play atop the vaunted Yankee lineup. 11/22 with 5 runs scored, 3 dingers and 7 RBI. He’s currently the 16th ranked player in Yahoo, tops amongst SS.

Casey McGehee has been huge for me in the absence of Aaron Hill. Since picking him up last Sunday, he’s hit 10/22 with a 5 runs, 2 jacks and 6 RBI while posting a .519 OBP. Not bad for a replacement utility guy. With Hill possibly returning at the end of the week, there’s no way I can ditch this guy. Looks like Baby Jete’s going to get kicked to the curb, unless I can make a move…

Over in The Big Ballers League, “Whaddya know” Robbie Cano has been smacking laser beams all over The Stadium. The two jacks he laced on Jackie Robinson night were a nice touch to honor his namesake. I can easily see Cano breaking career highs in HR and RBI this season, vaulting him into elite 2B status alongside Utley.

Cameron Maybin looked awful in the first series against The Mets this season. 3 K’s against Johan will do that to you. Well he’s had a much better run of things this week and he looks like The Marlin’s centerfielder is on track. On base at a .412 clip, Maybin had a homer, 6 runs scored, 3 RBI and 2 steals for the week. With a move up to the lead-off slot, he should get more opportunities to use his modest speed a little more. Look for 20 – 25 steals by years end.

Kevin Correia, ace of the often-ridiculed Hodge-Pad‘s staff, came through big for both of my teams this week. In 11 1/3, he posted 2 wins, 11 K, a 1.59 ERA and a tidy 1.15 WHIP. With my H2H team getting healthy, I want every reason to send Correia packing, but he’s pitching too well to even consider that. Go out there and throw kid. Don’t worry, you’ve got a job.

So a wild and woolly week ended and another begins. As of this writing, The Uptown Hamfighters sit at 13-9-2, good for 2.5 games out of first place. In the Big Ballers League, The Harlem Hangovers are currently tied for first with 107.5 points. So far so good.

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Streams Of Thought – Week 3 Two Start Pitchers

April 19, 2010

Here are three names that might be of interest to owners in deep leagues. This is not at all an endorsement of general rosterability, but more like a “hey check out these guys, they might be rosterable in a shallower league soon,” kind of jump off. Of the three, Fister is still available in The Big Ballers League and I own the next two. So I got that going for me. Which is nice. Tread these waters at your own risk!

Doug Fister could be soon known for something other than his awesomely pornotastic surname. Will you have the cojones to ride Fister to victories at home against the hapless Orioles and on the South Side against the ChiSox? I know it’s tough to send him up against John Danks but the Pale Hose have been having trouble at the plate and the O’s are going with Brad Bergeson, who was rocked in his first start. Mister Fister is coming off of 8 shutout innings against the A’s in his last start. With the best D in baseball grabbing everything behind him, Fister looks like a solid streaming option for deep leagues this week.

I’m feeling Pelfrey this week but you already know that if you’ve been following along. Hopefully I was just over-reacting in my outrage over his Save in Saturday’s 20 inning marathon in St. Louis. He’s facing Z-Man and The Cubbies on Monday, followed by a visit from Tommy Hanson and The Braves. Could go either way. I do however have tickets to Saturday’s game and The Mets are 24-6 in the last 30 regular season games I’ve seen live.

Once upon a time, Brett Myers was a pretty good pitcher. Derailed by problems on and off the field, Myers caught a major case of suckitis before being shipped over to the woeful Astros in the off season. A power pitcher with a career 7.49/3.13 K/BB rate, the homer has always been his undoing. At home for both of his starts, Myers faces two decent match-ups in The Marlins with Chris Volstad and Paul Maholm and The Pirates. Don’t expect two Wins out of Myers, however. That would imply that the Astros can actually muster up a couple of runs.

After an inauspicious beginning to my streaming ways, I think I’m off the streams for a bit. You know how that goes. I’ve got a good feeling. Like Jimmy The Greek. I might surprise myself (hey self… BOO!) and actually have one of these guys left on my roster by weeks end.

For a comprehensive rundown on all of the probable two-start pitching match ups for the week, check out The Roto Professor.

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A Strange Day Indeed

April 18, 2010

Every now and then Baseball gives us a day that makes you realize you really haven’t seen it all. It was as though the ghost of Doc Ellis paid the game a visit today and dropped a couple of sugar cubes in the punchbowl.

As Dave Cameron at Fangraphs so elegantly put it, Baseball Is Amazing.

Ubaldo spat hot fire at The Bravos on his way to the first No Hitter in Rockies history. I really wish Fox or MLB would have cut to the game. Don’t we have split screens and what not in the future? The Dexter Fowler catch in the 7th was incredible. Hopefully his glove will keep him in the lineup, because his bat is swinging like it wants out.

The Mets win over The Cards was one of the most bizarre games I’ve ever seen. Mr. Larussa,  July 4th, 1985 called. Rick Camp says he’s available to pinch hit. Both managers should be fired for the way that game was managed. Larussa, at least, was managing for October. He could have cared less if his team won.

Jerry Manuel was managing for his life and hopefully it doesn’t cost Mike Pelfrey his career. All I could think of was an Aaron Harang extra inning appearance in ’08. His career hasn’t been the same since. Pelfrey only went one inning, but it was one inning too much for my stomach. Oh by the way, WHY IN GOD’S NAME is Castillo bunting against super-futility guy/turned reliever Joe Mather?! Ryan Ludwick played like he was on acid. I felt like I was too after that game. Lost in the madness and mayhem was the scintillating duel between Johan and Garcia.

How about a game in a half in Boston? Two walk off Pirate wins in a row? Livan Hernandez tossing a complete game Shutout? “It’s my scene and it’s freakin’ me out!”

Enjoy this great short commemorating Doc Ellis’ psychedelic day.


Welcome To Jaime Town

April 17, 2010

Hey-oh! I went there. Did that one take you back to the 80’s? Well Jaime Garcia (pronounced “Hy-mie,” hence the title) got all Hot Tub Time Machine on The Mets today, channeling master corner-painter, John Tudor, with excellent command over an assortment of pitches. Today young Jaime, making his third career start – second since coming back from TJ Surgery – out-Johaned Johan, going seven scoreless before leaving the game with the score tied. Walking two and striking out five, the lefty kept Mets batters off balance all day, inducing little but weak contact. In fact he allowed just two hard hit balls all day. The Mets only hit came off of him as soon as Tim “No-Hitter-Ruiner” McCarver acknowledged the No No, prompting Angel Pagan to loop a broken bat single into center. He doesn’t over-power anyone, but Garcia hides the ball very well, hits his spots and gets ahead of hitters. That’s that magic Dave Duncan pixie dust at work I tell ya!

Needing a Win, WHIP and a QS, I threw Garcia out there for a spot start against the punchless Mets. Now it’s looking like this guy is for really real and I’m going to have some interesting decisions to make when Fuentes and Hill get healthy and come off the DL.

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Fantasy Breeds Strange Bedfellows

April 17, 2010

“It’s a sick sick world, so what do you do kid?” – “Sick Sick World,” Rancid

That chorus wafted through my mind last night as I saw Chris Carpenter shut down my beloved Mets last night, on the way to a 4-3 Cardinal victory at Busch. I have Carpenter in my 15 team league and at that moment, my team had collected one lone Win in about 80 some-odd innings of work. Oh it gets worse for a Mets fan. I have Cardinal’s rookie lefty, Jamie Garcia going today against Johan. Oh wait, what’s that? I’m not feeling dirty enough… how about Adam Wainwright on Sunday? Yeah got him too. I need wins from that trifecta. This weekend I’m singing, “beat the Mets, beat the Mets, head to the park and…” I feel like Harvey Keitel in “The Bad Lieutenant,” betting on The Dodgers in a fictional playoff series against his home team.

Some readers might not be old enough to remember that in the 1980’s the St. Louis Cardinals were The Mets most hated rival. At the age of 10, I was throwing garbage and hurling insults at Cards fans brave enough to visit Shea. I was a young, rabid Cardinal hater, frothing at the mouth at the very mention of the name Whitey Herzog. My father fueled the hatred, telling me a story about how he once asked Stan “The Man” Musial for an autograph before a Giants game at The Polo Grounds. Stan replied, “you look like one of the fat cows on my farm.”

Fuck you and your 3,630 hits Stan.

***CORRECTION***

My father called to correct me. Musial ignored him when he asked for an autograph. It was actually Cardinals infielder Solly Hemus who had insulted him.

Well fuck you and the horse you rode you rode in on too Solly

That rivalry had a good run. This was before the six division realignment, that now has The Cards playing in the NL Central. The Cards played in the NL East and year after year, they would go down to the wire with The Mets, usually getting the better of them. It was tougher than seeing The Phillies win these past few years. At least The Phils have a murderers row of hitters and a couple of big time arms. I don’t blame the Mets players for not being good enough, it’s managements fault for assembling such a flawed team and still pay out the 3rd highest payroll in baseball. With all the incompetence the various cabals in the Flushing front office has displayed, I can feel comfortable saying that The Mets aren’t going to win the NL east this year. If you’re the ’10 Mets, you look at the names and say, “lets try for the wild card guys.” Well in the ’80s there was no Wild Card. You beat the Cards or you go home in October, and I couldn’t understand how we didn’t finish ahead of those guys in ’85 or 87. Of course The Bulldog did us in 88 and after that it was down hill.

I’d always marvel at how those Cards managed to win. The Mets always looked like the better team, top to bottom. St. Louis had one home run hitter in Jack Clark for fucksake and a bunch of speedy guys! Pitching? Look at this starting five from ’87: An injured Tudor’s your ace??? Danny Cox? Matthews? Magrane? An over-the-hill Bob Forsch? Are you kidding me? They didn’t have phenoms like Doc or Darryl, or household name All-Stars like Mex or Kid. The Wiz is a Hall of Famer for his glove, not his bat. They had nothing that could compare to Pujols. The Cards just won a lot with solid D, fleet and aggressive feet and consistent pitching. You can say they were very similar to Scioscia’s Angels. Mets injuries and off the field shennanigans did them ultimately, but it was maddening to see this Cards team deliver clutch hits, make great plays and win tight ball games, over and over again. Pendleton’s homer off of McDowell in ’87 still haunts me. I brought that inbred hatred with me to Shea during the 2000 playoffs as I delighted in watching The Mets crush St. Louis on their way to The Series. I expected to see the same thing in ’06, watching from the stands as The Mets grabbed defeat from the jaws of victory in games 2 and 7 of the NLCS. Just swing the bat Beltran! Now Adam Wainwright’s the ace of my keeper staff.

The Mets had just won it all in ’86, running away with The East. This was the sort of team that’s supposed to win year after year, we felt. The Mets felt it too, but too many injuries and too many parties helped derail that dream. Aside from the feeling that “we should be killing those guys,” that Mets fans felt, there was a genuine animosity between the two teams. This wasn’t good natured ribbing like J-Roll and Beltran traded a few years ago. Just about every series between these teams provided each clubhouse with more bulletin board fodder. “I think they’re a little scared of us now,” Carter said. “The Mets are pond scum,” Whitey so famously said. These teams didn’t just want to win. They wanted to beat each others brains out in the process and we fans felt that intensity.

So here I am with three Cards starters going this weekend. I need Wins. I got one last night as The Mets bullpen spoiled a splendid start by ’06 hero Oli Perez. I think I’ll get two more before Wainwright’s game on Sunday is over. My pops always told me to bet with your head and not with your heart. This is a guy who had The Bills in Super Bowl 25. Grey Albright, the genius behind Razzball calls it “fucking your step-sister,” when you’ve got your fantasy guys going against your favorite team. This weekend, I’m running a train on my step-mom. To quote Lou Reed, “I feel sick and dirty, more dead than alive,” much like The Bad Lieutenant. If my Cards pitchers don’t perform, you might see something like this…

*WARNING NSFW*

For the record, Bad Lieutenant director, Abel Ferrara is a Yankee fan. Figures.

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