You Gotta Dance With The Girl That You Brought To The Party

April 15, 2010

At around the two hour mark of the Big Ballers League auction a name popped up who’s very utterance makes my lips curl and my blood boil.

Scott Kazmir for $3″

A flood of memories come back. Mets fan wretch when they think back to July 30, 2004. It’s a Pavlovian reaction to the acute form of PTSD that we suffer from after years of abuse at the hands of a terrible baseball organization. With his team flailing in the summer heat and it’s record dropping below .500, then GM Jim Duquette made the worst deal in Flushing since Tommy Huang bought the RKO Keith in 1986. I won’t go into details because they’re too painful to recollect but I’m pretty confident that with Kazmir, The Mets could have won just one more game in ’06 or ’07 or ’08. The kid who once threw four consecutive no-hitters in high school, has had a pretty successful (if injury interrupted) career so far, turned 26 this season. Victor Zambrano and Bartolome Fortunato are no longer pitching in the majors.

I liked Kazmir as a back end starter going into my drafts this preseason. I knew he would come cheap, since he’s lost a lot of luster over the years due to the wear and tear of snapping off those sliders. His once coveted left arm is always a pitch away from the DL it seems. That was the knock on him back when he was coming up with The Mets. That he was too small, an injury risk because he threw hard and he snapped off wicked sliders. The Rays were more than happy to take that risk, and they went to the World Series not long after. Smart teams do things like that. When TB found themselves flush with young pitchers last season, they shipped Kazmir and his salary over to Anaheim.

In a bid that was half wishful thinking and half price enforcing, I went $4 on Kazmir. Crickets. Sold.

Checking out the Rotowire feed after the auction, I read that he was put on the DL with a strained quad. Had I known that, I probably wouldn’t have taken him, but $4 ain’t much and Scott Kazmir should do better out in the AL West. He also complained about the move, saying he was ready to go last week. On the other hand, he doesn’t have The Rays defense behind him anymore and his flyball rates have ascended the past two seasons.

Kaz makes his season debut tonight against Phil Hughes and The Bombers at The Stadium. I really don’t know what to expect. He has pitched well in his career against The Yanks, but not so much in The Bronx. This will be his first appearance in The New Stadium (Rudy and Bloomie say: bread and circuses motherfuckers, what!?) so maybe Aura and Mystic won’t get to him until he heads to Sin City after the game.

A lot of fantasy owners will be benching Kazmir tonight. I probably should be too but I’m going to play him. Shit. In an alternate universe, he’s still a Met and this is a real Subway Series, like in October, not June. My head got me 2 starts from Padilla last week, so I’ll go with my heart. What the hell do I know?

You gotta dance with the girl that you brought to the party. Man up Kaz!

*****UPDATED 10:16pm*****

I guess I should have left this girl in the cab. Kazmir done in by the long ball, chased after giving up 6 runs in 4 innings. A small consolation is that I have Robbie Cano on The Hangovers. He jacked off twice tonight. Yankees lead 6 – 2, bottom of the 8th.


Bloops and Bleeders

April 13, 2010

Random notes from around the MLB for April 13, 2010.

Chris Snyder might not be such a bad substitution for the recently shelved Miguel Montero after all. While showing decent pop with a career .167 ISO, the ‘Zona catcher’s shown surprising (to me at least) patience with a 12% career BB rate.

I was pretty heart broken when Montero went down with a busted knee this weekend, since I spent $12 on him in the Big Ballers League and was hoping for big things. With Webb on ice and Kazmir’s start delayed, I didn’t have a DL spot, so I was in a bind. I didn’t want to chance another owner grabbing Snyder in this deep, 2C league that counts OBP, so I dropped Montero for Snyder on Sunday afternoon. Not realizing that the waiver claim goes into effect immediately, Snyder was not in my lineup for his 1HR, 5RBI day. Sonavabench! It’ll take bold moves to win this league and dropping Montero for Snyder was one. Hopefully Snyder will suitably replace Montero’s pop. Picking up Cleveland catching prospect Carlos Santana in expectation of May call up was another bold move that I made today, but I’ll get into that later…

The other catcher on The Harlem Hangovers is The Cracka You Love To Hate, A. J. Pierzynski. AJP was involved in a strange call tonight that may have led to the break up of Toronto lefty, Ricky Romero‘s no hitter bid against the ChiSox. AJP was awarded first on a hit by pitch that did not seem to actually hit him. Upon replay it looked as if Romero’s breaking ball, that dove into the dirt, bounced up and missed the left handed AJP before going to the backstop. Pierzynski’s got crazy acting chops, because he immediately reacted as if he had been hit in his left foot, limping to first doing his best Daniel Day Lewis. He was not immediately awarded the base (I’ll give him an Oscar though) until an umpire pow wow cleared things up and despite the protests of Jay’s manager, Cito Gaston, AJP was finally given first. Pitching from the stretch, Slick Rick (not quite The Ruler yet) subsequently threw up a meatball to Alex Rios, who jacked it over the left field wall. No no-no for RR but he looked dy-no-mite tonight. Romero’s arsenal of off-speed pitches had Sox bats flailing to the tune of 12 K before his night was over. Kevin Gregg came on to finish it up in a 1-2-3 9th, with 2 K of his own – as if the Sox weren’t embarrassed enough tonight. Gregg is 3 for 3 in Save Ops in the young season since taking over for Side Show Bob.

I’ve been down this road before with Gregg, but SAGNOF bitches! Gregg looks for real this time. I know I’ve said that before. He’s like that ex hook up with for a one night stand and then instantly regret calling. I dumped Jason Hammel, who has a tough match-up in Atlanta this week for Gregg. I figure if Madson loses the closer job in Philly when Lidge comes back, I’ll need Saves. If he doesn’t, I’ll have an extra closer to use as a trade chip. If Gregg sucks it up as he is prone to do, I’ll dump him.

I guess Nate Robertson just looked good last week because he faced The Mets.

Clayton Kershaw went deep today. 5 1/3 for the W today against ‘Zona. Kershaw needs to pitch more efficiently or he won’t be touching double digit wins for the second season in a row.

Nice scheduling move by the MLB big wigs today. Seeing Godzilla come back to The Bronx to get his ring, at the home opener was pretty cool. The love the fans and his former teammates showed was really touching and Matsui could hardly contain his emotions when his name was called on the PA. The Yanks mobbed him and he was given a what was apparently a fake ring, before Girardi later copped and gave him the real one. Andy Pettite made a class move in Matsui’s first AB. With the fans screaming in adoration for last year’s World Series MVP, Pettite stepped off the mound to let the slugger acknowledge the praise. Matsui stepped out of the box, tipped his cap to the fans and went on to K against Pettite, who was in vintage form, going 6 scoreless. It’s easy to understand how the butterflies could have gotten to Matsui today. He ultimately went 0 – 5, ending the game by popping up a Mariano cutter. Yanks go to 12-1 in their last 13 home openers.

John Maine got predictably shelled tonight in Denver. He’s looked awful so far for my beloved Mets. Thank God for fantasy baseball because it’s going to be a long year for us Flushing faithful. This organization is in a complete state of Minayal. By the way Dave Trembley heard my cries of outrage last night and promptly yanked the venerable Miguel Tejeda from the clean up spot in Baltimore for the G-O-D. In the first of what will hopefully be many years of appearances in the 4 hole, Wieters went 0 – 4 with a BB and an RBI in the loss to the Rays.